A piece of advice

This is some advice for the ones of you who have never lived with someone, or are planning on living together with a best friend of yours. I would suggest you don’t do it. This might sound harsh, but I do believe it’s for the best. 

I don’t have the best relationship with my roommate. She’s my best friend. I don’t want to say was (although that’s what it feels like) because I’m not giving up. However, I feel like she is. We’d made a deal that we would live together, and when a lifechange would occur we would talk about it (our only example was really if one of us wanted to move in with a future boyfriend). However, she is already talking (to other people, not me) about moving out next fall. I was the one who got the apartment, and I’m the one who’s gonna have to break the news that we don’t wanna live together anymore (to my sister who’s subletting to us). I’ll have to explain why, even though I don’t know why. 

I have to admit this post is kind of all over the place. I just had to get it off my chest. I haven’t talked to my roommate yet, like had a long serious conversation. I will soon. I just don’t ever want to move in with a good friend again. Living together ruins friendships. Next time I live with someone it will be someone I am very much in love with. I can guarantee that. 

 

Paris, je t’aime.

I am so shaken up about these terrorist attacks that happened just hours ago in Paris, France. The city of love. The most romantic city in the world. The city where the eiffeltower stands. And something a little more personal to me: the city where I vacationed in 2014. One bombing just outside of the stadium where I went to see One direction that summer. A bombing where my mother was sitting outside of the stadium, waiting for me and my little sister to come out. Thankful that that day was peaceful and showed the beauty of Paris.

I am completely heartbroken by this story. France will wake up to a completely different country, scared, worried, not knowing what to do next. Just being aware of the fact that somehow, no matter how crazy it may seem, this is something that they will move on from. However, it shouldn’t be. They should not have to move on. There shouldn’t be scenarios where you are faced with these things.

Without speculating about religion or heritage and such, I do want to say something about the terrorists (because that we can at least assume they were). You can’t fix the world with violence. How are you able to wake up on a friday and think- hey this is the day I’m going to storm into a concert and kill as many people as possible? I will never understand, and I will not just pray for Paris, but I will also pray for this whole world, and for kindness and love.

xxx

  P.s. I am aware that there have been tragedies these past few days in other countries as well, such as Lebanon and Japan. However this really hit me hard and I just felt strongly about writing this post. I also don’t think you can blame people for praying for a country, even if it gets more prayers than other countries. Just wanted to say that cause I’ve seen some anger about this particular thing. Everyone deserves prayers.

Lamar Odom

Have been thinking about and praying for Lamar Odom the whole day today and yesterday. And for his entire big family (families). Checking for updates constantly. Really really hoping he pulls through… Please Pray. X

  

    
    
    
 

You’re waiting for me

Here are some things on my bucketlist for my life. There are loads more, for example goals regarding kids, family, education, etc. But these are just some I found. What is on your bucketlist? Xo

  
    
    
    
    
    
   

This is home

This fall has included a few huge changes for me. I got into a university, so the biggest change is I moved!!! Yes that’s right. I moved out from my mom’s house and to a new city! My current hometown is Turku, Finland. I love it here. It has been difficult since everything is new here, so I still have the majority of my life (friends, family etc.) in Helsinki. It’s definitely an adjustment. A fun one though. 

 These pictures are all from the city. The girl in one of the pictures is my roommate and best friend. P.s. the title of this post is a song by youtuber Bryan Lanning, please have a listen to it, it’s sick.   
    
 

I can’t take my mind off you

I have to admit I’m really scared of getting hurt again.
Life is very confusing right now.
Should be clearer in about a week though.
These past few weeks have been such a rollercoaster.

You say “It’s been you all along”

It’s true what they say. That first love never truly goes away.
I fell in love when I was 16. This might seem very young. What do I know about love when I was only 16? Well, a lot it turns out.
I know that that half year was the best time of my life. I also know that I experienced some of my worst times back then, but they are ruled out by the good things. The love.
Also I know what it’s like when love ends. I’ve felt the tears of my ex on my shoulders as we were standing in the icecold wind in the middle of the street. People walking past us, staring, but we just stood there, holding each other. I know the feeling of trying to stay like that for as long as possible, and then walking our separate ways into a much scarier and lonelier world.
I know what it feels like to get over someone. I know it can take months. I know the fallbacks, the really happy days, the days when you just don’t want to fall asleep by yourself.
Then I also know the actual fallbacks to eachother. I went through this a few months ago. I know how it is to feel like you are coming home, like you are perfectly at peace again with this person. The comfort, love, sex, laughter, and just over all perfect feeling. I know that it might not be the right thing to do but I know how right it feels.
One of the last things that I also know is how relieving it is to admit ; “you never really forget your first love”. To hear him say that he will always feel something is the best thing you could ever hear. This is not in the sense that we would ever be together again, but we accept the love and live with it. There is room for other love in our hearts. This is just pushed back in our hearts, like old memories in the back of our minds. Then we can bring the love back if we want.
So I know love. And I hope to never be told I didn’t or don’t. But most of all, I hope to never forget how real it was.

Stay strong

If you only knew what the future holds

I kind of have a crush on someone.
Now, this sounds really middleschooley but it really is sort of special to me. I haven’t had feelings for someone in 2 years. Or actually I haven’t had NEW feelings… So this is my first crush in a long time. First butterflies, first giggles, first every weird happy feeling in a while.

I really hope that this turns into something, some kind of relationship or fling or whatever. Cause I like this feeling. I hope I can keep on dealing with this though. Love is weird for me. I mean I love love. But I’m a planner, that’s just my personality, so it’s really hard for me to be in love. I can’t really plan feelings or relationships, those are just things you have to see play out by themselves. I also have a hard time thinking about the far future because I really would like to know that everything turns out okay. Not knowing is really annoying. This is a bad habit I definitely need to work on.

I’m not a princess, this aint a fairytale

Pics of the real me. Omg. No names still though.