The past few weeks: Food

Hi lovelies,

I’ve been quite inactive again due to stress. I thought instead of giving you a life update or something, which honestly wouldn’t be very interesting right now, I’d show you some of the food I’ve eaten in the past few weeks!

Latte and carrot cake in Café Art.

Homemade chickpea tikka masala with chili and brown rice.

Homemade iced coffee. Just coffee and some fatfree milk and ice.

Burger at Hello Diner. Beef, cheese, roasted onion, avocado, lettuce and some chilimayo.

Fried eggs, lettuce and a tomato.

Today i made these buns(?) because I’m having a brunch on saturday and needed to try them out beforehand. 

Hope this post didn’t make you too hungry, haha! I’ll try to write more frequently now, but am not promising anything since I’m so stressed… Hope you have a lovely week! x

Finding my motivation

The past maybe two years I have been finding it hard to get and stay motivated. A year and a half ago I moved out on my own, and that is one of the factors that makes staying motivated and on top of things so much more difficult. I am independent in pretty much all other aspects of my life, but when it comes to procrastination, I really need someone there to watch me so I’ll get things done. If that would happen I wouldn’t be here, in February, trying to desperately think of ways to scrape up all the credits I need to have enough schoolwork done for this year. And most importantly, I would not be stressing my butt off about having to possibly (probably) pay some of my student aid back. It’s stressful.

Obviously you have no one else to blame in situations like these, but yourself. I do blame parts of it on anxiety, but not all of it. And obviously my anxiety gets worse from not doing what I’m supposed to be doing. It’s a vicious cycle.

Lately I’ve been getting extremely motivated about my obligations in the choir, and the tasks that I have to do for that. I just wrote a long list tonight of things I want to post on the choir blog in 2017, I organized a blogmeeting, and I posted important things in our facebookgroups. Probably  sounds like nothing, but this was a pretty productive night for me. I also applied for a few jobs today. This weekend I need to apply to as many more as I possibly can.

Tomorrow I also have Islam-class which is very interesting. I am learning a lot. This is a very good time to educate yourself on islam, so that is what I’m doing. I think everyone would benefit from learning about how islam works just in general. Maybe that way they could see that this is really just a religion that’s part of people’s daily life and routine, just like christianity or atheism. It’s interesting to get this more and more neutral understanding of islam (even though I’ve never thought negatively about islam).

The fact that I have courses like islam and spanish this semester (courses that have mandatory attendance), means I’m getting more motivated as I’m getting into more of a routine. I love having a routine, it just seems I’ve lost it during the past year or so. I’m hoping desperately I can get back on track. Do you have any tips on how to stay motivated?

x

FRESH START

Wow, it’s been over half a year since I’ve posted anything on here. These past 7 months have probably been the most transformative months of my life to date. I’ll get into different parts of that in more detail later.

I feel like my thoughts on what has happened are pretty mixed. As at any time, lots of both happy and sad, good and bad, things have happened in the past few months. I’ve been on the best trip of my life, I’ve attended the saddest funeral of my life, I’ve been in a happy “almost relationship”, I’ve been through a break-up, I’ve been stressed and depressed, and I’ve been overjoyed. In no particular order. It has truly been a rollercoaster. A whirlwind of emotions. A learning experience.

After all this time it’s kind of hard to know where to even begin. What do I talk about first?

So I guess for now I’ll only say a few important things. I am now living alone and I’ve also moved. Across the street, but the distance is not a measurement of how much change the move brought to my life. I now feel like I am home. I am happy here. It still takes some getting used to (I’ve only lived here for a few weeks), but this place feels like a good home for me.

I also feel like I need this blog again as an outlet for my thoughts. I did videodiaries about my previous “relationship”/fling/undefined situation, and that was a good outlet, but I do feel like that’s now kind of tainted after the relationship ended. I also miss writing. I’m excited to get back to it. As for now this will do for my “comeback”. I’ll speak to you soon again. If you have post ideas feel free to leave a comment.

xxx

1:What would you name your future daughter? – I actually have fewer girlnames than boynames. I love the name Mila, but that might be a problem since I’d like my son to have the name Milo. I’d also like my daughter’s middlename to be Emiliana, because mine is Emilia. So I’d need a first name that goes with Emiliana. 

2:Do you miss anyone? – Yes I do. Since I live in a different city than most of my family and friends I do miss them a lot. 

3:What if I told you that you were pretty? -I would thank you awkwardly, but actually get cheered up by it. 

4:Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? -Not really (fortunately).

5:What are you looking forward to in the next week? – I’m looking forward to going to Helsinki on wednesday. Taking a looong weekend. Seeing my dad for the first time in like 4-5 weeks! 

6:Did you go out or stay in last night? -I actually did go out. My choir had kind of a dinner party and then an afterparty.

7:How late did you stay up last night? -Like two AM. Didn’t come home particularly late from the party.

8:Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? -No… I mean yes in a bikini, but I’m assuming that’s not what’s being asked here.

9:What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? -I was at the grocerystore.

10:Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? -I may have just at a party to some random girl you know like “omg I love you we should toootally hang out!”. Never in a serious moment though.

11:Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? -Yes but depends on the deal haha. Is it worth it?

12:Have you pretended to like someone? -Not really. Being polite is not the same as this I don’t think.

13:Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? -Yes.

14:Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? -I mean probably. The most important ones can make you cry a lot too though.

15:Is it hard for you to get over someone? -Extremely hard. I get very invested.

16:Think back five months ago, were you single? -Yes

17:Have you ever cried from being so mad? -I do this all the time!! It’s no fun and people don’t take me seriously if I cry in a fight.

18:Hold hands with anyone this week? -I mean technically when the malechoir serenaded us yesterday. Doesn’t really count though does it.

19:Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? -No

20:Who did you last see in person? -My roommate

21:What is the last thing you said out lot? -“Good night” in swedish.

22:Have you kissed three or more people in one night? -Yes, 5. A LONG time ago.

23:Have you ever been to Paris? -I went to Paris in june 2014. Saw One direction at Stadt de France. Loved the movie.

24:Are you good at hiding your feelings? -I’d kinda say so but then again they do shine through sometimes. It’s impossible to fake it. 

25:Do you use chap stick? -No.

26:Who did you last share a bed with? -My sister

27:Are you listening to music right now? -No it’s very late.

28:What is something you currently want right now? -A cuddlebuddy and a lazyday tomorrow.

29:Were your last three kisses from the same person? -No

30:How is your heart lately? -Kind of sad.

31:Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? -Depends on which hoodie. I do wear some if I’m feeling cool and have the fuck everyone attitude going on haha.

32:When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? -Yesterday

33:What do people call you? -Just by my name

34:Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? -Of course

35:Are there any stressful situations in your life? -Some. School sometimes. Some relationships sometimes. Depends on the day really.

36:What are you listening to right now? -Nothing.

37:What is wrong with you right now? -I should be sleeping. I think my best guyfriend and I are in a funk.

38:Love really is a beautiful thing huh?– When it goes right yeah. Although I suppose there’s beauty in sadness too.

39:Do you make wishes at 11:11? -I do. I also wish upon my eyelashes. It can’t hurt.

40:What is on your wrists right now? -Just my tattoo. It’s not really going anywhere.

41:Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected? -Single /confused/waiting for the unexpected

42:Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? -I’m wearing pajamas and they were a gift

43:Have you ever regretted kissing someone? -Yes like a month ago

44:Have you hugged someone within the last week? -Many people. Want to hug my mom and dad.

45:Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?-No.

46:What were you doing at midnight last night? -Was at the party.

47:Do you miss the way things were six months ago? -I miss my highschool friends from that time but not really anything else.

48:Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? -With someone 

49:Have you ever been to New York? -Yes but I want to go again because I was like 11 at the time

50:Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? -It was probably mom hahaha so yes.

This is home

This fall has included a few huge changes for me. I got into a university, so the biggest change is I moved!!! Yes that’s right. I moved out from my mom’s house and to a new city! My current hometown is Turku, Finland. I love it here. It has been difficult since everything is new here, so I still have the majority of my life (friends, family etc.) in Helsinki. It’s definitely an adjustment. A fun one though. 

 These pictures are all from the city. The girl in one of the pictures is my roommate and best friend. P.s. the title of this post is a song by youtuber Bryan Lanning, please have a listen to it, it’s sick.   
    
 

This summer

I’m back! It’s been months since I last blogged, and that was very slacky content too. I’m really wanting to start this up again, and I want to make it more personal this time. I mean I wrote loads of personal posts back when I blogged previously (feel free to scroll back to those posts), but because they were really personal I didn’t really want to share stuff like my own pics etc. I did post pics of myself like two times. 

Anyways, now I really want to start posting my own photos, writing about my life, and just in general being more personal. I will of course still post similar stuff to what I did before (for example there’s a wedding inspo post going up in a few hours). I have loads of pictures from this summer when I traveled around Europe for about two weeks. Will most likely do one post for each city, so I can sort of “review” it thoroughly.

 Hope you’re excited and will want to read what I have to say :). I’m excited. 

P.s. the featured image is from this weekend when we spent a night in Loimaa with my choir. And the selfie is from a few weeks ago.