The past few weeks: Food

Hi lovelies,

I’ve been quite inactive again due to stress. I thought instead of giving you a life update or something, which honestly wouldn’t be very interesting right now, I’d show you some of the food I’ve eaten in the past few weeks!

Latte and carrot cake in Café Art.

Homemade chickpea tikka masala with chili and brown rice.

Homemade iced coffee. Just coffee and some fatfree milk and ice.

Burger at Hello Diner. Beef, cheese, roasted onion, avocado, lettuce and some chilimayo.

Fried eggs, lettuce and a tomato.

Today i made these buns(?) because I’m having a brunch on saturday and needed to try them out beforehand. 

Hope this post didn’t make you too hungry, haha! I’ll try to write more frequently now, but am not promising anything since I’m so stressed… Hope you have a lovely week! x

sat021817

Hi!

Today is another sunny day. I’m going to my choirs second day of practice this weekend. Love these weekends that are dedicated almost solely to music. I am at peace when I sing.

Yesterday I posted my makeup look (in the sunset post), and I’ll also post my FOTD (face of the day) today. I went for only light foundation and no eyeshadow, but with a bold lip. I’m going to do my makeup all over again tonight anyway so didn’t want to wear lashes or anything right now. 

I’m going to a party tonight, which is fun, but you have to wear a toga to the party… I don’t love costume parties. Do you have fun plans for the weekend? Hope you have a lovely saturday. x

The face of anxiety

Tuesday was an anxious one. Yes it was february 14th. Not going to even call it Valentine’s because I feel like that lessens the worth of this post. My anxiety truly had nothing to do with Valentine’s. I had a great day. I had a meeting, lunch with friends, another meeting, and choir practice. After the choir I chilled with my friends for a while. A little feeling in the back of my mind was already telling me everything doesn’t feel fine, but for a while I stayed anyway. Then all of a sudden I had the urge to leave, rushed past my friends without saying  goodbye, and once I was outside I immediately found myself breathing in a panicked manner with tears in my eyes.

I really don’t have an explanation for this, nor do I want one or any pity for that matter. I really just wanted to tell you how a day of mine can sometimes look. So great at first and then all of a sudden there’s a turn. I am happy that I’m starting to notice when I’m about to have major anxiety. I am thankful that I left before it came out, so I didn’t have to be embarrassed there or have to explain myself. Thankfully my anxiety has reduced a lot, and this was a rare thing to happen to me now. That’s what made it extra bad I think. Because I don’t expect them anymore. That makes me feel positive about the future. I just hope this was a single incident and will not be followed by any more similar days. Here are two pictures I snapped on tuesday. The first is from the morning, when I had a hard time finding a picture to post on instagram because I was so happy in all the pictures I felt like my smile was a bit weird. The second one is after my anxiety attack, tears streaming down my face and red eyes. What a difference.

In this post I didn’t really talk about dealing with my anxiety, but trust me, I have been working very hard on myself and that is a huge part of that journey. If you want  I could write about it some other time? If you guys are actually interested in reading about this stuff. Sorry about a sad post, lol. x

Golden hour

Wow. Today was, yet again, a beautiful day. One of my favorite features in my new apartment is the fact that on every sunny day I get to have the sun shine its last beams of sunlight into my apartment. Today I noticed it can result in some pretty cool pictures.

Finding my motivation

The past maybe two years I have been finding it hard to get and stay motivated. A year and a half ago I moved out on my own, and that is one of the factors that makes staying motivated and on top of things so much more difficult. I am independent in pretty much all other aspects of my life, but when it comes to procrastination, I really need someone there to watch me so I’ll get things done. If that would happen I wouldn’t be here, in February, trying to desperately think of ways to scrape up all the credits I need to have enough schoolwork done for this year. And most importantly, I would not be stressing my butt off about having to possibly (probably) pay some of my student aid back. It’s stressful.

Obviously you have no one else to blame in situations like these, but yourself. I do blame parts of it on anxiety, but not all of it. And obviously my anxiety gets worse from not doing what I’m supposed to be doing. It’s a vicious cycle.

Lately I’ve been getting extremely motivated about my obligations in the choir, and the tasks that I have to do for that. I just wrote a long list tonight of things I want to post on the choir blog in 2017, I organized a blogmeeting, and I posted important things in our facebookgroups. Probably  sounds like nothing, but this was a pretty productive night for me. I also applied for a few jobs today. This weekend I need to apply to as many more as I possibly can.

Tomorrow I also have Islam-class which is very interesting. I am learning a lot. This is a very good time to educate yourself on islam, so that is what I’m doing. I think everyone would benefit from learning about how islam works just in general. Maybe that way they could see that this is really just a religion that’s part of people’s daily life and routine, just like christianity or atheism. It’s interesting to get this more and more neutral understanding of islam (even though I’ve never thought negatively about islam).

The fact that I have courses like islam and spanish this semester (courses that have mandatory attendance), means I’m getting more motivated as I’m getting into more of a routine. I love having a routine, it just seems I’ve lost it during the past year or so. I’m hoping desperately I can get back on track. Do you have any tips on how to stay motivated?

x

A year later

A great start to the week. Spanish, lunch with friends, tasks, singing, and dinner with friends. Tomorrow is Valentine’s day. I don’t have a date or anything but I do have plans. Tomorrow marks one year since my surgery (today it’s one year since I broke my leg). I feel very thankful to be healthy and fine this year. Good night! x

MONDAY

Good morning! I am about to eat breakfast and do my makeup, and then I’m heading to spanish class. This day and whole week is going to be quite a busy one. Hope I can be motivated through it all. A successful concert and party on saturday gave me lots of energy for this week, I honestly had the best time. Here’s a few pictures from the weekend, yesterday’s sunset was so unreal!! Hope you all have a lovely start to the week! x

GRAN CANARIA 16/17

This Christmas it was time for Gran Canaria again. We had a very relaxing two-week long vacation. We rented the house we’ve rented twice before this already, and just had 14 days of pure relaxation. In the summertime I usually love going to new places, but in the winter it’s kind of nice to just go to a familiar place when your only true requirements are destressing and getting to see the sun for a few weeks. Our house there is starting to feel like a fourth(?) home to me, I love it there. For sure one of my happy places.

What is your happy place? x

BODY POSITIVITY

As any regular 20-year old, body issues and selfconfidence are some of the “hot topics” in my life. Your twenties are definitely the years of finding and accepting yourself. Of course it’s naive to believe that you could fully do that in just your twenties, since you are truly constantly changing. I do, however, believe that the acceptance of your body the way it is and at any weight or shape, is something important to do as early as possible. Obviously it is not just that easy, and for me it has definitely been a journey.

It’s a journey that’s far from over, and on that journey I am constantly going through major breakthroughs followed by setbacks. It’s a constant back and forth. A merry go round. That’s why I don’t want to call this post “my journey to bodypositivity/bodyconfidence” or anything like that. I feel like a headline like that would indicate that I am somehow at the end of that journey, or at least majorly on the “right side” of things. That’s not the case. I am, however, working very hard at being comfortable in my own skin, and especially loving my body at any weight. My weight fluctuates a lot, so I feel like it’s important for me to learn to love my body no matter how it looks on a particular day.

For the past few weeks I have been happier in my body. I’ve enjoyed my body the past few months, but the past weeks I’ve also liked the look of it. I’ve taken full body pictures in the mirror and not hated them or been disgusted by them. I’ve even posted a bit of bodypositivity on Instagram, and my plan is to do more of that probably on Sunday (@klaraemiliaa). I am very happy with the progress that has happened in my  mind, and I am truly hoping that this selflove and bodypositivity only continues to grow from here, and develops to something constant in my life. Loving yourself is truly what matters in life. Your body is your home, you are the person you spend your whole life with. As long as you are alive, your body is doing a good job. Your body is a great body. What part of your selfacceptance journey are you on?

FRESH START

Wow, it’s been over half a year since I’ve posted anything on here. These past 7 months have probably been the most transformative months of my life to date. I’ll get into different parts of that in more detail later.

I feel like my thoughts on what has happened are pretty mixed. As at any time, lots of both happy and sad, good and bad, things have happened in the past few months. I’ve been on the best trip of my life, I’ve attended the saddest funeral of my life, I’ve been in a happy “almost relationship”, I’ve been through a break-up, I’ve been stressed and depressed, and I’ve been overjoyed. In no particular order. It has truly been a rollercoaster. A whirlwind of emotions. A learning experience.

After all this time it’s kind of hard to know where to even begin. What do I talk about first?

So I guess for now I’ll only say a few important things. I am now living alone and I’ve also moved. Across the street, but the distance is not a measurement of how much change the move brought to my life. I now feel like I am home. I am happy here. It still takes some getting used to (I’ve only lived here for a few weeks), but this place feels like a good home for me.

I also feel like I need this blog again as an outlet for my thoughts. I did videodiaries about my previous “relationship”/fling/undefined situation, and that was a good outlet, but I do feel like that’s now kind of tainted after the relationship ended. I also miss writing. I’m excited to get back to it. As for now this will do for my “comeback”. I’ll speak to you soon again. If you have post ideas feel free to leave a comment.

xxx